


Games

by scaredykitty



Series: Fun and Games [2]
Category: MindCrack, Minecraft - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scaredykitty/pseuds/scaredykitty





	1. Chapter 1

A mass of wiggly lines of code floated in the void as Dinnerbone flitted amongst the streams of numbers and letters. Floating off in the distance were other people, pulling, prodding, and generally yelling at the flying code until it complied.

Waving his hands lethargically in front of him, the code dissipated leaving Dinnerbone to stare at a small forested area in Minecraft, the area littered with broken trees, half formed huts, and other leftover bits of previous codes.

Dinnerbone sighed softly to himself as he sat on a nearby tree stump.

It had been a few weeks since the interesting occurrence on the Mindcrack server. After such excitement, it had been a bit difficult getting back into the swing of work, but everyone had been incredibly understanding. Maybe a bit too understanding.

_Has Vechs told people about what happened? Well, did he tell people his own version of what happened? I wouldn't be surprised if he did..._

Despite everything Vechs had done _didn't have to throw me in a tower_ , he had been incredibly nice to Dinnerbone over the last few weeks, although that might have been because of Zisteau more then any sense of empathy. _Or maybe because he got what he wanted, and remembers societal customs dictate kindness in return. Maybe. It's hard to tell what he's thinking._

He hadn't seen BTC since the events also, which was worrying. _Did I say something wrong? Maybe he really was upset I didn't tell him what was happening. Maybe I should talk to him later_

Dinnerbone shrugged to himself before plunking down a small enderchest, and pulling several sandwiches from it. _Mmm sandwiches_ As he started to bite into the sandwich he felt a hand lightly touch his shoulder before feeling lips lightly brushing his ear. He closed his eyes and sighed softly before pushing the face away with an open palm.

“BTC was right, you are terrible at greeting people. What do you want, Vechs?” Dinnerbone said as he turned towards Vechs, who was now pouting.

Vechs pursed his lips thoughtfully before standing up next to Dinnerbone.

“I want to play a game, bunny, I'm bored.” Vechs said as he thoughtfully studied Dinnerbone.

Rolling his eyes, Dinnerbone shoved the sandwiches back in the enderchest. “I am not helping you take over a small country. Again.” Vechs laughed as he sat down on the ground next to Dinnerbone.

“No, not that kind of game. I propose a test of wits. See who's better at building contraptions, or exploding things, and general mischief. You had fun last time, didn't you? Don't you want to play more?” Vechs said, almost whining.

“Fine Vechs, fine. We'll play some games. What game do you propose first?” Dinnerbone said, as he reached his hand towards Vechs, to cement the deal with a handshake. Vechs smiled happily as he took Dinnerbone's hand, shaking it.

_What's the worst that could happen, anyway._


	2. Chapter 2

“There will be ground rules for the game, Vechs. No killing anyone.” “But they'll just wake up again!” “No killing people!” Vechs pursed his lips unhappily, before nodding curtly.

“Can't destroy peoples stuff. This will all be done on a private server.” “My server!” “Ok, fair enough.”

“Whoever we're using to judge gets prizes.” “Ok.” _Thought he'd say no to that. Or something like, “Getting to test new things is prize enough!”_

Dinnerbone paused as he tried to think of more rules. Knowing Vechs, he'd just wiggle around the rules anyway if told he shouldn't do something, so it might be better to not give him ideas.

“Who are we going to be doing this against? If it's meant to scare people, they can't know before hand, can they? But we can't do this to random people, that would just be cruel.” Dinnerbone said slowly.

Vechs waved a hand dismissively. “I asked Zisteau to pick a couple of his buddies to test on. After some thought, he choose Mhykol and Cleo. You can have Mhykol to test stuff on, I want to play with Cleo.” Vechs smiled again, his goggles glittering unnervingly.

_I didn't need to know that. He's been planning this for a bit also, if he already asked Zisteau to pick people out...oh dear._

Rolling his eyes, Dinnerbone nodded at Vechs. “Ok. So what's the first game going to be?”

Bouncing up and down excitedly, Vechs pulled out a small piece of paper bearing crude drawings of cute little kittens frolicking in a field. Coughing quietly he sorted through the papers before he pulled out one decorated with small cubes of tnt and hearts. “Aha! A build contest! Build a haunted mansion!”

Dinnerbone nodded at Vechs. “Sounds good. Who's judging that, based on what? Looks? Size? Most amount of fear generated?”

“Fear generated, of course. _Of course._ Let's see. How about...two days for building! Then we place our vi...er, test subjects in there.” _...test subjects isn't a better word substitute there, Vechs._ Murmuring softly, Dinnerbone nodded as he pulled some paper and a pencil out of his pack, as he started to sketch possible scenarios.


	3. Chapter 3

Cleaning out the cobwebs in the attic of his house, Mhykol sat back at admired his handiwork. _Hard work, and boring, but had to be done eventually_ Cleaning his hands off with a dust cloth, Mhykol made his way downstairs. Passing the front of the house, he noticed a letter attached to the inside of the door.

_That is no way ominous at all._ Mhykol thought dryly to himself as he pulled the note from the door.

The note read in neatly typed letters – Team America requires your assistance, Mhykol. Please meet with me at the Lens. - Z

_Hm, he could have just called. Maybe he's busy trying to get the others together._

Mhykol made his way slowly to the Lens, staring up at the massive construction before shrugging. _No one else is here, maybe I'm early? How can I be early when he didn't give a time._

Wandering around the base, Mhykol found himself staring upwards at the massive project. _All neat and tidy. I wonder when he has time to sleep sometimes._ Continuing to stare up at the Lens, he failed to notice the person creeping up behind him before he felt a sharp crack and everything went dark.

Sitting upright, the sound of loud cursing filled Mhykol's ears, causing him to groan. “What's happening? What's going on?” Mhykol said as he rubbed his head, wincing as he felt dried blood. The cursing cut of suddenly, filling the room with silence.

“Who's there? Who was that?” A young female's voice filled the room trembling with barely supressed rage.

“I'm Mhykol. I think. I...my head got hit pretty bad. Who are you?”

“Oh! I'm Cleo. I don't think you are the reason I'm in this god forsaken hell hole, but maybe you are. Where are you?” Mhykol groaned as he opened his eyes, rubbing the back of his head gingerly. “I don't see anything. I just see darkness. I feel an unworked stone floor, and that's about it.” Mhykol shivered suddenly as he realized it was quite cold in the room.

“They fed you blindness potions too, fuck. Fuck. We have to get out of here.” Cleo groaned as she punched...something _wall, floor?_ before sighing loudly. “Who or what is “They” Cleo?” Mhykol asked as he continued to blink, trying to regain his eyesight. _Pointless trying to see. Can barely see my hand in front of my face_

“I'm not sure. I was running around Inferno Mines with Dire Dwarf, we got separated, I hear a loud bang, and suddenly I'm here. Been here for at least an hour. I keep shouting, but there's been no response. I thought it was some cruel joke by Dire, but he would have said something by now. I'm thinking it's something far worse.” Cleo inhaled suddenly before falling silent. “I'm guessing that is not your hand on my shoulder, is it,” Cleo said quietly, exhaling slowly. 

“...I was going to ask the same thing. Well. It was nice speaking with you.” Mhykol said as everything went hazy.

Mhykol awoke again, this time in the middle of a rather large stone foyer. Glittering far overhead was a quartz and glowstone chandelier. _Where am I now? At least I can see..._

“Cleo, are you here? Cleo?” Mhykol's voice echoed around the empty foyer before ominous silence rang in his ears. Frowning as he slowly stood up, he surveyed the foyer he found himself in.

Elegantly appointed in quartz and stone, the chandelier hanging high overhead only just barely lit the place up. Dark shadows flickering on the walls, as dirty curtains hung in front of heavily boarded windows. Faint timorous echoes of far of insects filled the hall, but otherwise the air hung heavy and silent. _nope nope nope nope_

Turning around towards what he hoped was the door, Mhykol inhaled deeply as he stared up at the massive obsidian and steel door. _That's impressive._ A small golden keyhole glittered in the centre of the door.

Mhykol sighed. _I'm guessing find the key, and I get to go home._

**Find the key and you can leave** echoed around the foyer in a flat, mechanical voice, rattling Mhykol's teeth, causing him to wince.

“Thanks, got it. So, any hints, places to go, any weapons at all? Anything?”

Silence echoed around the foyer. Rolling his eyes, Mhykol turned around, looking at the rest of the foyer. _Well, better gather some stone in order to build with..._

Smacking at the rocks produced nothing but headache. _I see. Fine, we'll go exploring then._

Climbing up the emerald staircase, Mhykol found himself in a dusty, cobweb filled hallway. _I wish I had a sword right now. Stupid cobwebs_ Mhykol thought to himself as several of the lowering hanging cobwebs hung in his eyes, causing him to smack them out of the way. Peeking into the rooms that lined the ling corridor, Mhykol closed his eyes and inhaled again.

Splatters of what appeared to be blood covered the walls and floors, with shredded bed sheets covering the floors. Mhykol tried to turn the door knob, only to find it thankfully locked.

_Think. If I was a key, where would I be hidden? Master bedroom, perhaps? Master bedroom would be at the highest part of the house, right?_

Continuing up the stairs Mhykol passed rooms filled with glittering gems coated in cobwebs and blood, boarded up windows, and small animal skeletons _Now that's just terrible. Who would do that?_ Faint shadows flickered across the hall as the chittering sound of bugs bounced around the corridors, creating an eerie atmosphere.

Turning a corner, Mhykol froze in place as he saw what he assumed was the master bedroom. The doors had been torn from their hinges, the wood lying cracked and broken on the ground, the hinges melted from the stress imparted upon them. Lines of blood coated ripped sheets, as unknown bones lay strewn in the blankets.

Mhykol darted into the room as he rummaged through the end tables next to the bed, relaxing slightly as he found a small golden key. _This better be the key to open the door, for the love of oh what's happening now_ As he picked up the key an ominous rumble echoed through the house. _run now. RUN NOW_

And run he did as stone and quartz started to rain down near him. Panting heavily, he threw himself at the door, pushing the small key into the large door, pushing at the door with all his might, the door slowly creaking open. As he opened the door, he stumbled outside into the night, pushing the door shut behind him as he heard several large crashing noises. Closing his eyes and inhaling, Mhykol stared around him as he saw several glittering eyes staring at him from the darkness before hearing the faint shattering sound of glass as his eyesight went blurry again as he doubled over and fell down.

_Oh no, not again_ Mhykol thought with a soft sigh.

\- - - - -

“Oh come on now, his heart rate was through the roof at the end, that has to count for something!” Dinnerbone grumbled as him and Vechs watched as two large zombie pigmen dragged Mhykol back to the holding cell.

“But he remained calm for the majority of the experience, and never once even said anything other then sighing. Doesn't matter anyway, we have to see how Cleo does,” Vechs said as he turned towards a different screen.

Grumbling under his breathe Dinnerbone mumbled about heart rate and nervous system response before turning towards the other screen.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting upright suddenly, Cleo started cursing as blood rushed to her head, making her dizzy. “I will find and murder you, whoever you are you fucking asshole.” The faint drip, drip, drip of water replied. “I know you can hear me! Answer me dick!”

Drip drip drip

Grumbling angrily, Cleo stood up, putting her hand against the wall before jerking back suddenly. “That better be water!” Cleo hissed as she closed her eyes before carefully smelling her hand, relaxing slightly. _Just water._ She unsteadily stood up using the slippery wall for support, before wiping her hand off on her shirt.

Now that she was able to stand upright, Cleo looked around her before hissing softly. She appeared to be in what was possibly some sort of underground catacombs. Mossy cobblestone mixed with worked stone created a long, narrow corridor, dimly illuminated by glowing lichen _...where did glowing lichen come from?_ The corridor appeared to go forward for some distance become sloping down precipitously. 

Turning around, Cleo found she had been deposited at a dead end. _We'll make sure about that._ Starting to slowly dig at the cobblestone with her bare hands, Cleo frowned as she realized this was taking far, far longer then it should.

“No. I know you want me to go down the corridor, fucker. I'm going to stand here and dig my way out, and you can't stop me.” Cleo said grimacing as she continued to dig at the cobble. 

A faint rumbling filled the cave as the groans of zombies and skeletons filled the air. Cleo continued to dig. “Fuck off.”

**You really shouldn't try that.** The mechanical voice bounced around the narrow corridor amplified in the small space.

Cleo continued to dig. “I said fuck off.”

A breathy sigh filled the corridor before Cleo heard heard a click sound. Looking up she noticed the ceiling had opened. And water was now pouring down.

“You motherfucker!” Cleo howled as she was swept down the corridor, tumbling head over heels before landing unceremoniously with a loud splash in a shallow pool of water. 

Hurling curses at the darkness, Cleo stood up before steadfastly turning back to where the water had pushed her away from, steadily making her way back.

A louder sigh filled the room, causing the air the move around her, ruffling her hair and clothes.

**I would really recommend going forward.**

“Fuck you.”

**I would really, truly recommend not trying to go back.**

“And I said fuck off,” Cleo said as she made her way back up the hallway.

**I would say I'm sorry, but...**

Water suddenly began pouring in from several small holes near the ceiling, slowly filling up the room.

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. You are seriously not going to try and drown me, are you?”

**Go forward and stop stalling. You're just going to make this all end in tears if you keep on being stubborn.**

Gritting her teeth, Cleo turned around and started towards the other exit in the square room. The slits in the ceiling slowly started to close as two drains appeared in the floor, sucking the water away. Without pausing Cleo ran towards one of the drains, jumping in as she rode the water down with a splash.

Cleo strained to hear the voice, but was slightly perturbed to hear just the rush of water. Just as her breathe was just about to run out, she hit the ground and stumbled forward. Wiping the water out of her eyes, she found herself back in the room she started. Her eyes twitched slightly as she started to shake.

**You are too predictable, Cleo. I know what you're going to do. So once again, I “recommend” you go forward.**

Exhaling slowly, Cleo closed her eyes. “I know that's you Vechs. I will find you, and tear out your heart. I will crush it, crush crush. Let me out of here you motherfucker.”

A slight hissing sound rattled in Cleo's ears. **You really should have just gone forward, Cleo.**

A panel opened up on each side of the room not decorated with a corridor, out of which several small potions shot out and hit Cleo, causing her to stumble and fall to the ground.

\- - - - -

“That. Was not fear,” Dinnerbone stated calmly as he turned towards Vechs.

Vechs continued to stare at the screen, his lips pursed in displeasure as two different pigmen gathered Cleo up before trudging down the corridor.

“Her heart rate was phenomenal, as was...”

“She was angry. Not scared. There is a difference. You lose, Vechs.” Dinnerbone said with a curt nod of his head.

Exhaling slowly, the air making a soft hissing sound, Vechs tapped a pen against the monitor, making a soft and steady clink, clink sound.

“Do you disagree, Vechs?” Dinnerbone said with a slight tilt of his head.

Frowning ever so slightly, Vechs shook his head as he put the pen down. “I miscalculated how long it would take her to figure out. Fine, you win this round. You won't next challenge.”

Vechs stood up, holding his hand out to Dinnerbone. Dinnerbone grabbed the offered hand, standing up slowly, before the two of them trudged out of the room, discussing the next plan of action.


	5. Chapter 5

Mhykol slowly stood up in the cell, suppressing a groan as he felt his head swim from the effort. Moving his hands out in front of himself slowly, he carefully mapped out the room by touch. _Smaller then I thought it would be._

Grunting filled his ears as he found the heavy cast iron door, causing him to back up several feet before lying down, pretending to be unconscious. Two large figures grunted to themselves before placing...something on the ground before leaving, pulling the door shut with a loud clang behind them. _Were those pigmen? Might have to try defecting to Team Canada if Zisteau is behind all this..._

Holding his breath, Mhykol waited until he couldn't hear the pigmen at all anymore before carefully crawling over to where he believed the creatures had placed the object. Very gently touching it with the tip of his fingers, he sighed before sitting down next to it. “Cleo, wake up. Cleeeooo wake up.” Mhykol said as he continued to gently nudge Cleo.

“I'm going to murder you Vechs! I'm going to fucking kill youuuuu...”Cleo sat up shouting before whining and falling back to the floor with a thud, whimpering about headaches and murder.

_...oh no._

Mhykol's face fell as he ran a hand through his hair. “Cleo, did you just say Vechs is behind this...?”

Flailing about at the sound of Mhykol's voice, Cleo grabbed hold of Mhykol's shirt, dragging herself upright. “I will kill Vechs. I will punch him into last week. So much pain. Murderous rage rising.” Cleo hissed angrily.

Cleo stared at Mhykol, her eyes unblinking and empty as she looked through him. “Mhykol. I'm going to murder him. Help me get out of here and murder him.” She exhaled slowly, causing Mhykol to wince. _Sopping wet angry zombies do not smell good._ Very gently Mhykol pushed Cleo away, leaning her against the wall.

“Cleo, why are you wet? Are you ok? You seem way more pissed off then normal. Unless this is normal?” Mhykol asked, concern evident in his voice.

“I was in a tiny corridor filled with water, and he tried to drown me, or maybe not, and it was cold and damp, then he hit me with potions, and now I'm wet and tired and angry and and...”Cleo wailed before starting to snuffle softly.

_How do you comfort a crying, wet, zombie?_

Mhykol carefully wrapped an arm around Cleo as she sniffled again while she wiped her face on Mhykol's shirt.

_Going to have to have some very strong words with Z after this._

\- - - - - - - - - -

Vechs and Dinnerbone were seated across the table from each other, pondering a sheet of paper that was resting on the hard wood directly between the two of them.

“Hm, ok. Most of these ideas are far too dangerous Vechs. For one, I don't know where we can even find half this stuff, and there is no way I can convince everyone else to allow at least three of these items. Well, four of them,” Dinnerbone said as he tapped the paper with the tip of his pencil.

“Oh, you're just spoiling all the fun,” Vechs said, sighing unhappily. Dinnerbone frowned at him as he crossed off several of the ideas for contests.

“Fine. What about the monster creation contest? That ok?” Vechs said as he circled the idea on the paper.

Dinnerbone pursed his lips, leaning back in the chair, before pulling himself back onto all fours with a loud clunk. “As long as you don't think I'm actually going to add them to the game afterwards.”

Looking as innocent as possible, Vechs replied, “Who, me?”

Rolling his eyes, Dinnerbone murmured quietly to himself. “Ok, let's get started on these, hm?”

Smiling happily, Vechs nodded at Dinnerbone.


	6. Chapter 6

Mhykol and Cleo had fallen asleep holding each other, in the desperate attempt to not be separated during the night. At some point the door to the cell had opened, some bread and milk dropped unceremoniously in the room, along with a change of clothes for both of them. Fumbling around, they had both ate in the darkness and changed clothes before falling asleep.

The faint sound of splashing water woke Mhykol up, who quickly shook Cleo awake.

They were both in a small wooden shack, broken glass windows letting in streams of cold air. A long since quenched fireplace stood decaying along one wall, the masonry fall into disrepair, while pieces of broken furniture were strewn across the room.

Standing up uneasily, Mhykol turned towards Cleo before blinking. _Why is she wearing my sh...we're wearing the wrong clothes._

“Cleo, I think we picked the wrong clothes to wear...” Mhykol said as Cleo started to stand uneasily up, before she turned towards Mhykol. Clamping both hands over her mouth, Cleo began giggling intensely as she saw Mhykol wearing clothes that were rather unflattering for his figure.

Grumbling softly, Mhykol turned away from Cleo as he looked around the cabin. “Here, take the shirt, would you? At least both pants are pants. I don't want to wear a tank top. Can I please have my shirt?” Mhykol said as he stripped the small tank top off, trying to hand it to Cleo without looking at her. “Oh fine. You were so cute in it though.” Cleo said with a giggle, before switching shirts and handing Mhykol his shirt back.

“Do you recognize this place, Cleo? Maybe somewhere Vechs and you visited?” Mhykol said as he pulled the shirt over his head, carefully making his way towards one of the broken windows. “I don't think so,” Cleo replied, concerned.

Outside the small shack, the ocean stretched forward towards the bleak and dreary horizon. Prying the door open, Mhykol and Cleo walked onto the island, finding it to be larger the previously assumed. The island continued behind the small shack, the ground made of sand and what appeared to be dead and dying grass. Several large trees loomed ominously behind the house, devoid of leaves, covered in cracked white bark.

“Uh, Cleo. I don't remember dead trees being normal, do you?” Mhykol said as he looked at the trees nervously. The trees were swaying in the wind slightly, their branches moving in lethargic motions unnervingly. “Doesn't matter. It's a tree. Let's go chop it down and haul ass off this forsaken island.” Cleo responded, making her way towards the tree.

The sun dipped below the horizon as Cleo made it to the tree, and started to take a swing at it. As she connected with the trunk, a loud moaning echoed across the entire island. One of the larger tree branches came crashing down towards her head, which she just barely managed to avoid before quickly scurrying back to where Mhykol stood in shock.

“What the fuck was that? What was that?” Cleo said as she stared at the trees, which were now groaning loudly as they stretched their branches towards her. She barely noticed that the trees were slowly pulling themselves out by their roots before Mhykol grabbed her, pulling her closer to the shore. “Oh fuck Mhykol. How do we get off the island now?”

“Tear apart the shack. Hurry, I do not want to see how strong a living tree thing is.” Mhykol said as he started to tear apart the small shack for resources.”

“I think they might be undead trees, given their bark and the grass but oh fuck right, concentrate, tear apart the shack.” 

Working together, they quickly tore apart enough of the shed as the trees slowly pulled their way towards the two of them. Building a pair of boats, they pushed off the island as the first of the trees made it's way towards the shore. Teeth filled mouths appeared at the end of each branch tip as it smacked several branches into the water in rage, the tree fruitlessly reaching long branches towards the rapidly fleeing pair.

“Holy fucking shit what was that,” Cleo said as she gasped for breath, trying to steer the boat straight.

Scratching his head thoughtfully, Mhykol steered his boat closer to Cleo. “I think he's trying to scare us. Not hurt us, scare us. We need to remain calm, maybe he'll get bored and stop bothering us.” Cleo inhaled deeply, before nodding at Mhykol.

The two rode on in silence, the moon overhead providing the only light over the ocean. Faint shadows played across the surface of the ocean, the murky depths hidden from sight. Mhykol started to yawn as they both continued forwards.

“Mhykol, does it look like there's something under the water?” Cleo said suddenly, her voice trembling a bit. Mhykol blinked before straining to see into the watery depths hesitantly. “I don't think so Cleo, but it's rather dark. Maybe the moon is playing tricks of light on the water?” Cleo bit her lip, before shrugging.

Continuing on in silence, Mhykol started to turn towards Cleo before suddenly grabbing the edges of the boat as it rocked without warning. “Cleo, my boat just rocked, did yours...?” Cleo look over at Mhykol, her eyes wide as she nodded suddenly, whimpering softly.

Before Cleo could say anything, several massive tentacles burst from the murky water, causing the boats to sway about drunkenly.

“Oh fuck. Row row row row,” Cleo shouted as she started to panic, trying to force the boat to move faster, to avoid the rapidly rising tentacles. Mhykol followed Cleo, trying to keep pace. 

The tentacles ranged from minuscule, almost snake like appendages, to massive arms bedecked with suckers and oozing slime. The two hapless test subjects continued to try and duck among the writhing tentacles, but it was a losing battle. 

Several of the smaller tentacles wrapped around the two boats, tearing into them and cracking them apart, causing Mhykol and Cleo to tumble into the cold water. Continuing to swim forward, Mhykol was grabbed by two of the larger tentacles, dragging him below the surface. Cleo started hurling curses at the rest of the tentacles, before she dove under the water trying to vainly find Mhykol. The pressure increased as she dove deeper, as slowly the air ran out, everything going dark.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vechs smirked as he watched the screens. The tentacles had carefully pulled the two “participants” back to the surface gently, where they were retrieved and placed back in the holding cell, along with several large blankets.

“I'm pretty sure I won that one, Dinnerbunny,” Vechs said as he turned towards Dinnerbone. Running a hand through his hair, Dinnerbone sighed. “I don't know, they seemed pretty scared with that biome.”

“That's the problem though, isn't it? Trees are not creepy. Also, it was not a build a new biome contest, it was a build a creepy monster contest! And you can't argue that massive octopus and squids with gaping suckers isn't scarier then a tree!” Content with his argument, Vechs nodded to himself as he pushed away from the monitors smugly, leaning back in his chair.

“Poorly worded, but I concede. Giant octopuses with gaping suckers win,” Dinnerbone said, shuddering slightly as he stood up from the bank of cameras.

Dinnerbone opened the small door before stepping out into the brightly lit quartz hallway, waiting patiently for Vechs to follow.

Vechs smiled softly before following Dinnerbone.

_It takes a long time to corrupt someone. But the end result will be fantastic._ Vechs smirked slightly as he trailed behind Dinnerbone.


	7. Chapter 7

Dinnerbone, Vechs, and two very large, bored zombie pigmen were seated at a small table, eating several different kinds of sandwiches. Vechs picked up one of the pulled pork sandwiches, waving it one of the pigmen, who snorted at him before turning away. Vechs shrugged slightly, before starting to eat the sandwich.

“You only had two contests planned, Vechs?” Dinnerbone said, frowning as Vechs continued to inhale sandwiches, making oinking noises at the pigmen. Vechs started to cough suddenly as Dinnerbone stared at him, finishing the last sandwich in front of him before grabbing a napkin.

“Well, I thought one of us would win and it was sort of spur of the moment and wasn't it fun? I just wanted to spend some time with my Dinnerbunny!” Vechs said, almost whining.

Dinnerbone stared at Vechs before slowly laying his head on the table, sighing heavily.

_I really should have listened to BTC. Vechs is a tornado. Or something equally confusing and random._

His voice muffled by the table, Dinnerbone said quietly, “Well, we need at least a third contest, because really, we can't just be tied. That seems bad.”

Vechs stared at Dinnerbone, before nodding. “You're quite right. Why not just ask Mhykol and Cleo who they find scarier?”

“Oh shove off, you know they'll say you're scarier, Mr. Doom and supercharged creepers man.” Dinnerbone mumbled to himself.

“You don't know that until we ask! Piggies, go grab the two and bring them here? Make sure they don't try and run though.” The two pigmen grunted and left the room, relieved to be doing something other then watching Vechs eat sandwiches.

Loud sounds of shouting and protesting accompanied the pigmen as they returned with ~~the test subjects~~ Mhykol and Cleo. Upon seeing Dinnerbone and Vechs sitting at the table, both fell silent.

But not for very long.

“I'm going to stab youuuuuuu Vechs! Going to tear you into tiny fucking pieces, then stmp on those pieces, and and and,” Cleo continued, struggling to break free from the bored pigman's grasp.

Vechs smiled at Cleo, starting to say something before Dinnerbone raised his head from the table, looking at the pigmen holding Cleo. “Let Cleo go,” Dinnerbone said suddenly.

“What?” Vechs and Cleo said at the same time as the pigman shrugged, releasing Cleo.

“...fuck” Vechs practically rocket out of his seat, trying to run from the very angry Cleo who was charging towards him. Dinnerbone giggled softly as Cleo tackled Vechs to the ground and started to wail about indignities and trying to smack him, although rather ineffectually.

“Dinnerbone, whhyyy...” Vechs managed to shout as he continued to cover his face from the onslaught of slapping.

Mhykol watched the proceedings, confused. “Dinnerbone, can I leave now? I don't know what's happening, but really, I don't care. I just want to go home.” 

“No.”

Cleo stopped smacking at Vechs as she turned to look at Dinnerbone, who was leaning back in his chair. “I'd expect that answer from this asshole, but not you” “Hey, I'm not an mmreh!” Cleo placed one hand over Vechs mouth, shutting him up.

“Why not?” Mhykol said, trying to remain calm and diplomatic.

“I want to know who you are more scared of. Vechs, or me,” Dinnerbone said, an faint smile playing on his face. 

Cleo frowned slightly, the cogs in her mind slowly turning before she turned bright red. “You...you were trying to see which of you was scarier? That's why I was drowned twice?” Cleo began sputtering, which gave Vechs enough time to wiggle out from her grasp and sit back at the table.

Mhykol looked towards the clean quartz ceiling before shrugging. “If I say you, will you let me go?”

The chair made a loud thud as Dinnerbone brought all four legs back down to the floor. “The truth would be better, Mhykol.”

Cleo stood up and dusted herself off, continuing to sniffle quietly. “Dinnerbone is scarier. I expect Vechs to be a colossal dick, but not Dinnerbone. I mean, he just looks so huggable and nice and not mean and not cruel. Why are you being cruel?” Cleo turned towards Dinnerbone, sniffling louder.

“Neither of you were in any real danger. You don't have to be that upset. Really.” Dinnerbone looked down at the table, blushing a bit. _Now I just feel terrible._

Vechs coughed softly before turning towards Mhykol. “Well, what do you have to say?”

“Eh, Dinnerbone. I agree with everything Cleo said. Can I go home now?” Mhykol said calmly.

Vechs shrugged before nodding at the pigman, who promptly released Mhykol “I guess the two of you can leave, sure. I left you presents at your houses oh god Cleo don't kill me I mean honest to god gifts!” Vechs flinched and dove under the table as Cleo started to charge towards him again.

Pulling open a portal to home, Mhykol shrugged as he dived through, leaving Cleo to try and beat up both Dinnerbone and Vechs at the same time.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cleo and Vechs lay panting on the floor. Dinnerbone had left some time ago when it was apparent what was happening. “Are you still wanting to kill me, Cleo?” Vechs said quietly. “Hmfr. No. But stop trying to corrupt Dinnerbone. That's just wrong.” Cleo grunted as she pushed Vechs away. Pouting at Cleo, Vechs sniffled softly, “Corrupt Dinnerbone? Who, me? I'd never owwww!” Cleo punched Vechs in the arm quickly before frowning at him. “I'm not that stupid, Vechs. Dinnerbone is too kind to have thought of this himself. You leave him alone or or...”Cleo trailed off, trying to think of an appropriate punishment.

Smirking at Cleo, Vechs laughed “Or what Cleo? You aren't very good with threats.”

“Or I'll tell Zisteau and Amlup and everyone else to ignore you. You just crave the attention. I'll tell them how cruel you're being to Dinnerbone, and they'll get upset with you, and ignore you until you stop being mean.” Cleo nodded to herself as Vechs gasped quietly putting a hand over his heart before smirking again. “Oh whatever will I do. I guess I'll just have to sneak in and fill everything you ever make with glass and supercharged creepers, and gravel traps and chickens...”Vechs laughed again as Cleo pouted at him, turning away from him.

“Fine, I'll be nice to Dinnerbone” “No! No talking to him! You'll just keep trying to make him worse!” Vechs sighed, rolling his eyes. “Do you really think I could corrupt him? He's way to nice to do that. As he said, it was just fun and games!” Cleo frowned, unable to think of a good retort before sighing. “Fine. Just knock it off.” Vechs mumbled to himself before kissing Cleo. “Fineee.”

_This might take much longer then I originally planned_

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“So, you want Team Canada to help you get back at Zisteau for inconveniencing you and Cleo? You do realize Zisteau hits back like a train, right?” Beef said as he stared at Mhykol.

“It was quite a bit more then an “inconvenience”, Beef. I can't do this by myself. Please?” Beef sighed before nodding quickly at Mhykol. “I'll talk to Pause and Etho, see what they can come up with. I'll give you a call when we have something figured out, ok?” “Ok, thanks.” Mhykol smiled at Beef, before making his way back to his house.

Stepping into his house, Mhykol saw a book nailed to the wall _fuck_. “I'm sure you've figured out I helped Vechs at this point, Mhykol. All fun and games, wasn't it? Seriously though, if you try and get back at me, I'll turn everything inside out. Well, I guess I better get back to work on things. See you soon. - Z” _I will not be intimidated by an angry zombie pigman._


	8. Chapter 8

“I don't like this, I don't like this idea at all,” Etho said as he and Pause sat down at a small wooden table in the middle of Pause's deku tree. “He's dangerous, and every time we've pranked him, he comes and hits back three times as hard.”

“What, are you scared of a little pigman, Etho?” Pause said, laughingly.

Frowning at Pause, Etho shrugged slightly before turning away. “I wouldn't be surprised if his next prank had us strung up by our toes with signs laughing at us strewn around the place while he goes on a murder spree.”

Pause blinked at Etho. “Er, are you serious? I don't think he's a murderer. Just a bit zealous.”

“Drop it, drop it. I'm outvoted anyway, so we're helping Mhykol with his zombie pigman problem.” Looking around the room, Etho saw a small vase filled with lilacs. Licking his lips before turning towards Pause, he asked neutrally, “Where did you get those lilacs? I didn't know you liked flowers.”

Looking up from the table, confused, Pause stared at Etho before looking at what Etho was pointing at. “Oh those. I saw some outside. I thought flowers would be nice. Why, did you want to give them to someone?” Pause said with a smirk.

“No, just curious about..”Etho stopped as Beef came into the room. “Ah, Beef. What's the plan?”

Beef sat down at the table, handing Etho and Pause several packets of papers. “Well guys, as you know, we're going to help Mhykol get back at Zisteau. Yes Etho, I already know you don't want to,” Beef said as Etho started to protest.

“The basic plan is to move the entire village he's currently working on three blocks to the north. It's small enough to be subtle, and he'll still notice.” “That's an incredibly boring plan!” Pause interjected suddenly. Beef sighed quietly. “Then what's your plan, Pause?”

“We should cover everything in snow! Show him the true scourge of the north!” Pause said, clearly proud of himself.

“That's...actually not a terrible idea,” Etho said, staring at Pause.

“What's that suppose to me, actually not? Are you saying my ideas are usually terrible?” Pause said as he swatted at Etho. “No no man, I actually like the idea. Snowmen all over, well, pretend snowmen, snow, maybe ice? I like it.” Etho said, nodding at Pause as Beef agreed.

“Oh. Ok,” Pause said as he sat back in his chair for a moment, clearly thinking they were going to fight over the idea. “Wait, what about Mhykol? What's his part?”

Beef frowned, shaking his head slightly. “He's not going to take part, technically. He's paying us rather well, and should be talking to the two of you shortly about prices. This way Zisteau doesn't figure out the real culprit for awhile, and gives him more time to Zisteau proof his base.”

“You can't Zisteau proof your base,” Etho said as he looked over the papers. _He's willing to do quite a lot to get back at Zisteau, hmmm..._

“Fine, **try** and Zisteau proof his base, or at least mitigate damages. And recuperate. He told me what they did, he needs time to rest. Now is the best time to strike, when Zisteau is still trying to rest himself.” Beef said, trying to ignore Etho who was still complaining about pranking Zisteau.

Gathering the supplies necessary wasn't all that difficult, or even time consuming. Pause had stashed a rather copious amount of snow and ice, mumbling something about an unplanned prank from several months ago. The only problem would be figuring out when Zisteau was away. A decision was made to have Etho scout out Zisteau's sleep patterns. After much persuasion, Etho agreed to figure out when the zombie pigman slept.

Several sleepness nights of keeping track of the pigmens schedule made Etho very unhappy as he trekked quietly hither and forth invisibly keeping an eye on the pigmen. He actually had a very easy pattern once he saw it. The only problem is, as he was preparing to leave and tell Beef and Etho what had happened, he had gotten lax in his hiding.

_Ok, have all my stuff with me still now to just check on Zisteau on more time. Wait...where did he...oh no._ Etho heard an amused grunting coming from behind him, to find a smirking Zisteau point a sword in his general direction.

“I can't see you quite clearly there, but do know if you start moving about I'll just start slicing and dicing everything. I don't think you'd survive all that well.” Zisteau said, clearly amused.

_Hmmmm_


	9. Chapter 9

_...I am faster then Zisteau._

And with that thought, Etho punched Zisteau in the snout, throwing him off balance as he darted away from the now rather angry pigman. Gathering speed, Etho speed silently between buildings, the only hint of his passage the slight smoke the invisibility potion gave off. _invisibility potion my..._ The enraged howls of Zisteau receded as he made his way towards a hidden portal, sparingly using enderpearls to widen the distance between himself and the still raging pigman behind him.

Ducking into the portal, Etho felt the world fall away underneath him, only to be replaced with a blast of hot air from the nether appearing around. Leaning against the obsidian frame for a moment, Etho caught his breath before making his way back towards Team Canada's base.

Sighing softly as he slipped through the portal back to the overworld, he inhaled the cooler air and relaxed slightly. He quietly slipped into the room, sneaking up behind Pause.

“We have a problem, Pause. Zisteau is going to be on alert now. He knows someone was sneaking around his base.”

Pause jerked slightly before smacking at the air near Etho. “Go drink some milk, jerk. And don't sneak up on me like that. Does he know it was you though?”

Etho shook his head as he drank a glass of milk, slowly reappearing next to Pause. “Hmm don't think so. Unless he can tell from a single punch to the snout.” Pause laughed and shook his head. “I don't think so. Beef should be here soon, we'll discuss what to do then.”

“While we wait for Beef, you don't have any cookies to go with this milk, do you?” Etho asked Pause, causing Pause to laugh and chuck cookies at Etho, which Etho nimbly caught and ate. 

“Are you two done horsing around?” Beef said with a sigh, standing in the doorway. Etho and Pause looked guiltily at Beef for nodding. “Soorrry...” Beef rolled his eyes before sitting down at the table. “No you aren't. What did you find out Etho?”

Etho sat down at the table along with Pause as he pulled out a small notepad. “Hm, well. As we already suspected, he sleeps very little, only a few hours a night. He spends most of his time building, or planning builds. There is some random variables, notably with Vechs appearing and taking up Zisteau's time. He also tries to spend at least a few hours a week with Kurt, although in the short time I was watching him, he didn't spend any time with him. He did call him up, I believe they're meeting in about two days to hang out at Kurt's place.”

“A good time to strike then,” Pause said, as Beef nodded in agreement. Etho shrugged before pocketing the notes. “If you're both still sure you want to do this incredibly foolhardy thing, then sure.” “Yes!” both Beef and Pause exclaimed, exasperated.

A few days (and several hours of work) later, Team Canada sat back as they admired their handy work. Towers of snow covered Zisteau's otherwise lovely village. Fake snowmen golems laid scattered around, dutifully guarding the new icy village. Cascades of water poured out of houses. A sign stood on top of one of the snow covered roofs.

“Hey Zedsteau. We thought you needed to chill out a bit. So we made it a bit cooler. Imagine the water was ice. We forgot this was a desert. - Team Canada” A single massive moose stood behind the sign, looking out over the village.

“I admire our work, but Z is coming back any time now. Can we go?” Etho said, tugging at Pause and Beef. Pause threw a snowball at Ethos head. “Bah, we don't have to...oh shit I think the portal is...run!” The three team mates scattered as the nearby nether portal rippled as Zisteau and Kurt stepped out.

“So, I was telling Vechs, he can't...” Zisteau stopped as he saw the village.

Kurt coughed quietly. “I don't think I should be here right now, should I? I'll ah, see you next week.” Kurt scampered back through the portal as Zisteau continued to stare at the massive amounts of snow and water everywhere.

“Oh for the love of...I don't even need a sign. Team Canada, you...” Zisteau sighed. “Oh Team Canada.”

Later that evening, Team Canada met up clandestinely with Mhykol. “It's done. Here, pictures.” Etho said briskly as he shoved the pictures into Mhykol's hands.

“Ah, thanks. I already dropped off payment at your bases, the chests are just sitting there with signs saying, gift on them.” Mhykol said absentmindedly as he stared at the pictures, before nodding. “It should keep him busy for a bit. Thank you guys.” Mhykol smiled at the three while Beef and Pause smiled back. Etho seemed distracted still.

Later that night several large fireworks exploded over the mostly clean village, large red and white fireworks in the shape of Canada's flag. Mhykol smirked as he watched Zisteau howl and stomp about in rage, before stowing his binoculars and slipping away into the night, humming to himself.


End file.
